Would you believe that Bisexuals outnumber Gay and Lesbian people in Spokane? What? But you hardly know any Bisexual people, and you’ve lived here all your life! And if that’s true, why don’t we have any Bisexual bars or dance clubs or Bi-owned businesses in town? Wouldn’t the LGBT Center and the GLBT Film Festival be “BLGT”? You would have noticed the big crowd of Bisexuals marching in this year’s Pride Parade, right?
It’s true. According to a prominent study^ by Gary J. Gates at the Williams Institute (UCLA School of Law) the number of self-identified Bisexuals in the United States slightly beats out the combined total of self-identified Gays and Lesbians. It’s a safe bet that the same is true for Spokane.
So, where are these alleged Bisexuals? Not to be too cliché, but they are everywhere. Take me, for instance. I volunteer for the Inland Northwest LGBT Center. I run Facebook pages for Bi-Social in Spokane, LGBT Catholics of Spokane, and the Anti-Violence Project of Spokane. I’m an active member of Spokane PFLAG, I frequently walk in the parks with Destinations of Spokane, and I hang out with a local bear group. When I’m participating in LGBTQ community endeavors, my Gay and Lesbian peers often assume that I am Gay. I think this happens with most Bisexual people who are active in LGBTQ communities. Our bisexuality is invisible.
In my day job, in my family life, and in most other areas in my life, I am presumed to be straight. I have a wife and two children, pictures of whom adorn my shelves at work. Even though I have a large banner with a rainbow on it hanging on the back wall of my office, nobody at work ever asks me if I might be Gay or Bisexual. Even while attending an LGBTQ fundraiser with my wife a couple of years ago, a woman sitting next to her husband commented that we were the only two straight couples in attendance. Like many bisexuals, my sexual orientation is assumed based on the gender of my current partner. Again, our bisexuality is invisible.
For some of us, this invisibility is a problem. We want people to know that we are Bisexual and we want to socialize with other Bisexual people. For others, those in the proverbial closet, invisibility helps them to maintain their secret, a secret told only through anonymous surveys.
So, I issue a challenge to those Bisexual people in the community who presumed to be Gay or straight: Come out. You’ve been counted and just like our Gay, Lesbian and Trans* compatriots, we have strength in numbers. But the numbers mean little if we remain hidden away.
- Current Location:Spokane, WA
- Current Mood:Brave
What kinds of drugs are you on? How do they make you feel?
- Current Location:United States, Washington, Spokane
- Current Mood: thoughtful
According to Slate, “Words are mere man-given symbols for thoughts and feelings, and they are grossly insufficient to express the thoughts in my mind and the feelings in my heart that I have for you,” Hoover wrote to Tolson in 1943. “I hope I will always have you beside me.”
This relationship, whatever it may have been in reality, makes me wonder how things might have been different for Hoover and Tolson if a real marriage had been an option for them, if marriage equality had been around so long ago. Would Hoover have been a kinder, gentler man? Would he have been so power hungry? Would the FBI have become what it is? What kind of mate would he have been if the public could know of his relationship?
This is short, but I just wanted to get a thought down to get the words flowing. Maybe I'll pick up LiveJournal again. Look for more from me soon!
- Current Location:Home
- Current Mood: Inquisitive
Gonzaga University in Spokane, WA October 21, 2010 11:00 AM - 11:30 AM
Coeur d'Alene High School in Coeur d'Alene, ID October 22, 2010 6:10 AM - 6:40 AM
Lake City High School in Coeur d'Alene, ID October 22, 2010 7:10 AM - 7:40 AM
North Idaho College in Coeur d'Alene, ID October 30, 2010 6:45 PM - 7:30 PM
- Current Mood: pissed off
Without missing a beat, I yelled back at the top of my lungs, "But I'm Bisexual!"
- Current Location:Northtown Mall
- Current Mood: happy
A client called today for help with her mortgage. We get a lot of calls for help with mortgages, so it's nothing new. The story that went with the request wasn't all that different from normal either, except that it got me thinking about my own family. The client had some form of cancer. It was stage 3b or something which, according to her, means she's not going to get better, but she's not going to die anytime soon. In the meantime, her family has sold just about all of their worldly possessions and filed a many-hundred-thousand dollar medical bankruptcy. Because of the bankruptcy, her oncologist gave her 30 days to find a new oncologist. The labs won’t process tests for her anymore because she can’t pay for them. With all of that going on, her highly skilled husband has been out of work for 3 years. Through all of this, she is most worried about losing her home because she doesn’t want to uproot her teenage children.
On Superbowl Sunday, my wife fell and broke her wrist. She’s been out of work since then until last week. She’s the breadwinner in our family, so things have been tight financially. I’m glad to be working seasonally right now. This call this morning got me thinking about what we would do if we were in this client’s shoes. I realized that I have no idea what we would do, aside from crying a lot. I suppose this is what insurance is for. My wife has long-term disability coverage that, I think, kicks in after six months. It’s time to buy short term disability insurance and AFLAC.
Insurance is ironic. You pay for it and hope that it is a bad investment, that it doesn’t ever need to payoff. Nobody wants to get sick, get injured, crash or die just so insurance will pay off, but without insurance, you are pretty much screwed, like my client this morning. For all I know, she had insurance and it ran out. Hmmm. Something else to think about—sufficiency of insurance.
- Current Mood: sad
Nestled down by Pike Place Market, The Night Kitchen’s warm, welcoming atmosphere pairs with our gourmet comfort food to provide a haven for the late night diner. Chef Avalon Zanoni’s Pacific Northwest-styled take on New American Cuisine incorporates favorite dishes from all over the US.
We provide our guests with free WiFi access, and there’s a lounge with drink and snack service for those who want to relax and play a game or get some work done. Get a drink and appetizer, or Coffee By The Hour!
Come by after midnight, and we’ve got late-night snacks plus a full breakfast menu, because there’s nothing better than breakfast in the middle of the night.
Open 6pm-9am; closed Monday night/Tuesday morning
Facebook • Twitter • night.kitchen.seattle@gmail.
- Current Mood: curious
If the court rules for the plaintiffs, this ballgame is about over. Enough signatures would be invalidated to throw the referendum out. If the court rules with the referendum supporters, we'll see this on the November ballot and we'll want to vote to "APPROVE" the expansion of domestic partner rights. Either way, we'll see an appeal, I'm sure, which could be a good thing.
The most important thing for everyone to know about this very confusing process is that if it makes it to the November ballot, we want to "APPROVE" "APPROVE" "APPROVE" the measure, affirming the law passed by the legislature to expand domestic partner rights.
- Current Mood: nervous
It can certainly tip the scales a bit. Robin Hood took money from the rich to render justice to the poor. Class action attorney's generally seek to level a playing field between relatively poor plaintiffs and corporations who've committed bad acts by seeking restitution and cash awards in addition to injunctions. Convicted thieves and vandals are usually required to pay restitution in an attempt to make victims whole again.
But does that money actually bring justice, or is it just a poor substitute? The Sherriff of Nottingham continued to tax and punish the townspeople. Money doesn't rid class action plaintiffs of their medical conditions necessarily. And victims of thieves and vandals still have the scars of trauma even when full restitution has been made.
So, why aren't there more people proactively working for justice? Money might still be the answer. Typically social justice jobs are few and far between. Finding a social justice gig that actually pays the rent is a feat. Public School teachers (essential members of the social justice crowd) and police officers constantly find their fates up for public vote. Social workers are underpaid and their employment is often governed by the availability of grants. Union organizers are, by design, working with minimal pay in an uphill battle against employer abuses. Money for social justice campaigns is available when it suits the mood of the uber liberal elite.
Then, why do people do it? How do they set aside opportunities for more lucrative livelihoods and work in public education, public safety, union, and social justice environments? Are there really those of us who care more about egalitarianism and fairness than about financial security? Obviously the answer is 'Yes'. The 'How' sometimes seems like sheer luck. The 'Why' is usually connected to a personal story of injustice.
Thank you to the batmen and batwomen out there making the small differences in peoples' lives which will eventually culminate in justice.
- Current Mood: curious
I just caught the last moment of an ABC show in which the narrator concluded that more than our successes, it is our failures that define us. God I hope not. Can you imagine if our resumes and biographies primarily highlighted our worst decisions and greatest losses? We'd evaluate our friends, family, and potential employees from the perspective of seeking out the least bad among us. Maybe that is how some people look at the world. I know I would hate to always be judged by my worst characteristics and history.
If we looked at each through that negative light, would we start to lose our sense of shame? If we measured our worst against others' worst, would we feel our bad pasts were negligible by comparison? How would it affect our decision-making processes? Might I choose to rob a bank it wasn't as bad as my neighbor's crimes? Would I choose to fill entire paragraphs with questions just because a classmate over-used ellipses? Maybe. :)
In therapy I'm learning to focus on success. It's amazing how easy it is to overshadow success with failure. A group I work with recently completed a major project. We did it a little more expensively and a lot later than we had hoped. I have a tendancy to view this as a failure, when it really is a success. A mitigated success is a success. Perfection is not required.
I recently applied for a job that would have been interesting. I got the application/resume/letter done the day before it was due and immediately began second-guessing the format and content of my submission. I got a letter last week letting me know that I wouldn't be interviewed. It was a success, though, for me to to complete the application process in a timely manner. I'm somewhat relieved that process is over and I can look forward to other job opportunities.
I was surprised recently to be chosen to be part of an evaluation team. I got my packet in the mail yesterday and diligently completed the independent part of the work and I'm looking forward to meeting with the team to work on the collaborative effort. I'm glad to be part of process that previously seemed somewhat mysterious to me before. It is also providing an education in an area that has been of interest to me for some time. I'm grateful for the opportunity and look forward to success on a number of fronts.
I got my youngest girl to sleep only an hour after bedtime tonight. Success. :)
- Current Mood:accomplished
Simultaneously, I'm watching Coraline so I can decide whether to let my kids watch it. It's nearly over and there is probably only 25% of it I would let my kids watch. They already have enough issues with being occasionally left overnight at Gma and Gpa's house. My three-year-old would never leave my side after watching this movie. Why was this even marketed as a kids' movie?
- Current Mood: amused
Then came the budget cuts. We got a letter last month letting us know that, while kindergarten would remain full day, it would only be two days a week and every other Friday. Wow. I thought it was going to be tough to find a part time job to accomodate a school schedule. But it becomes pointless to work part-time to try to pay for child care for two kids. Wah wah!
I can't work an evening shift because Kim often takes call for evening shift and she earns way more money than I would. Plus, I want us to have some together time, so evenings are a no go.
Kim wants me to work to help catch up on the debt, but I don't see that happening. I think I'll have to work on making myself more usefull around the house and finding ways to save money in our budget (mainly by cooking more and eating out less).
I guess I'll be at home (maybe at school) for another year and we'll see what happens when Journey goes to first grade and Adia goes to day care. Just call me Mr. Dad.
- Current Mood: peeved
"Hello. Hi." Her name. Often.
Human relations. Stilt--ed.
Scary. Ea--sy. Meaning-less.
Awkward, anxious, all off-putting.
"Yes. I do understand." Find interest. Agree.
Intermission. Just truth.
Canned. Waiting. Hoping
For a moment of trust -- later.
"Thanks. Had great fun." Compliment. Subtle.
Parting. Sweet confusion.
When? How? Why now?
Interpret. Ask. Wonder. Drive away.
"Plans? Are you free?" No pressure. Grace
Discovery. Begin. End.
Planning, preparing, playacting
The request, the response. Yes?
- Current Mood: nostalgic
He doesn't look happy grasping his pink-edged bus pass. He doesn't particularly look unhappy.
I'm writing this and not paying attention as I cut in front of him. I feel awkward because he doesn't know I'm scribbling away about him. I think I'm fascinated with color today; it seems to be what I'm writing about.
- Current Mood: nostalgic
Three adults present, aside from myself. I don't always consider myself and adult anyway. Dad, young, on a weekend, needing to shave, with feet bare and hair dark, not like his kids. I caught him humoring his boy who wanted to build a sandcastle lacking any tools--shovel, pail.
Grandmama, white hair robust torso, was thrilled to be with them--or thrilled to swing. Grandpa just held the next swing, pulling it back and pushing it forth, just to keep his weight shifting.
And a teenager (I'd guess sixteen) wandered around the edges of the swing area, waiting for grandpa to fall asleep or grandmama to fall off, waiting for dad to make the boy cry by not paying just the right amount of attention, waiting for a chance to get in on this childhood stuff without anyone knowing.
Josh (the three-year-old boy) wanted to go fast. Repeatedly and repeatedly, Josh wanted to go fast and go faster on the merry-go-round. Dad tried to explain centrifugal force to his little girl, using Josh as a prop.
Our teenager disappeared shortly after grandpa hobbled away after grandmama. A couple wandered over to the steps near the tire swing. He swirled his foot in the sand beneath him while she laughed at something trivial, a leaf or a squirrel.
- Current Mood: nostalgic
- Current Mood: happy
The petition must include all of the 100+ pages of the original bill. Hopefully this will make it unwieldy and remind people that this is not a simple yea or nay kind of bill.
UPDATE: Oregon Gary says the petitions are printed and picked up. I'll let you know when I get mine. 6/6/09
- Current Mood: pleased
Now it is Sean Hannity's turn. Not only does Hannity believe waterboarding isn't torture, but he has volunteered to experience it. Pundits on the left, including MSNBC's Keith Olbermann and Air America's Richard Greene, have decided to turn the yet-to-be-scheduled event into a fundraiser for a cause of Hannity's choosing--support of military families. Olbermann has offered $1,000.00 per second that Hannity endures. Richard Greene has been collecting pledges from listeners of Air America of $0.01, 0.10, 1.00, 10.00, and 100.00 per second.
If Sean Hannity keeps his word, we'll (at minimum) see thousands of dollars going to a worthy cause. If Hannity bails on his promise to be waterboarded for charity, I have a feeling a lot of those dollars will make it there anyway. If you want to, email your pledge to firstname.lastname@example.org.
- Current Location:Spokane, Washington, USA
- Current Mood: pissed off
The scary part of this story isn't that he had unprotected sex with about 20 guys without disclosure. The truly scary part of this story is that half of his sex partners knew at the time they were having unprotected sex with an HIV+ man. So, about 20 guys were told by Roush that he was HIV+ and decided the risk was worth taking. Roush told KXLY "Nowadays if somebody has HIV they don't care, they don't care about asking."
So, the HIV scare is gone. I'm sure most of the people who Roush had sex with have never knowingly met someone who is HIV and have never known anyone who died from AIDS. Maybe it's just me, but when I was his age, HIV/AIDS scared the hell out of me. I'd seen panels of HIV+ people speak. I'd met people with HIV and with AIDS. I had volunteered with an AIDS service organization. And I'd made casual friendships with people who happened to be HIV+. I worked briefly as a volunteer on an LGBTQ crisis line and the potential call that scared me the most wasn't the suicide attempt, but was the kid who just learned he was HIV+. I couldn't imagine at the time what I could say to help someone in that circumstance.
Is HIV/AIDS not on our lips often enough? Has its image softened now that there are drugs that turn it from a painful death sentence into a chronic manageable disease? Have we failed to scare the crap out of the younger generation? I don't want us to fear the people, just the disease. I thought the AIDS crisis had brought us universal precautions in the areas of blood, drugs, and sex, that we knew to assume everyone had it, and hope no one did. Apparently that prophylactic mindset was generational.
When Roush is all done with his newly found criminal issues, and after he gets some much needed counseling, I hope he takes his story on the road to schools. College, high school, junior high, and even 5th & 6th graders need to know his story. There is no room for naivete where HIV/AIDS is concerned.
- Current Location:Spokane, Washington, USA
- Current Mood: determined
- Current Music:La Vie En Rose by kd lang and Tony Bennett
Klein Sexual Orientation Grid
I scored an average of 3
I'm so not shocked.
MeaningThis result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:
0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more
than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual
The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.
Take the quiz
- Current Mood: pensive
An acquaintance recently came out to his mother as a bisexual man. According to him, she all but disowned him. She didn’t really, but that’s how he felt.
I thought back to my own coming out experience sixteen years ago. I know going into it I feared the worst--that my family would cut me off. I was prepared to be financially cut off, and even a bit socially ostracized. What I didn’t think I could handle was to be emotionally shut out, disowned, abandoned.
I called my aunt, someone I (and everyone in my family) knew to be a lesbian, to ask her advice on coming out. When I asked how my family, and particularly my mother, responded when she came out, she surprised me by asking, “What do you mean ‘came out?’” I suppose I got to “out” the family to her.
That call gave me some confidence. I knew that my family loved her and supported her even when she thought wrongly that she was hiding herself.
I called my Mom. I explained that I had dated women and I had dated men. I wasn’t comfortable claiming the bisexual label at that point. I waited for a response, but there wasn’t much of one. I wasn’t expecting what I heard:
“Oh, your dad and I have been talking about this for years.” Really? I suppose there were all sorts of possible indicators, but my own process of discovery had only taken months, not years. Not only was I queer, but I was oblivious to my own queerness.
“I’ve always thought that you just liked *people* regardless of whether they were men or women.” Okay. My mom was not only more tuned into me than I was, but she understood the essence of bisexuality, that it wasn’t about liking men because they were men and women because they were women—it wasn’t about the dichotomy, the binary, the sex.
Fast forward to a few months later. Life was in disarray because I was 19 years old. I’d gone to a military recruiter, taken the ASVAB and essentially signed up to join. I called my dad, a retired veteran, with the good news. Aside from telling me I’d need to get in shape so that basic training didn’t kill me, he warned me, ominously, “If they ask, you will need to lie.” Being a naïve 19 year old, the thought that my mom might continue having discussions about me with my dad hadn’t entered my mind. “If they ask me what?” “You know.” “Ohhhh, you talked with mom?”
I didn’t join the military, in large part because of a surprise visit my dad made shortly after the phone call with a wonderful heart to heart conversation, and in larger part because I knew I didn’t want to join anything on the pretense of a lie.In retrospect, I see that my parents couldn’t have responded any other way. That’s got to make me luckier than a lot of people out there. My parents acted with love, tolerance, acceptance and sound guidance, the way they always have.
- Current Location:Home on the Range
- Current Mood: hot
- Current Music:The music in my head
Now, I'm of the opinion, as I said before, that almost everyone is pro-life and anti-abortion. Nobody really thinks abortion is a good idea. I'm guessing that there is not a lot of agreement between Beth and I on the issue of abortion, except that we should work to reduce the number of abortions performed throughout the U.S. and the world. I don't want to put words in her mouth because I haven't actually spoken to her about abortion (or much else, to be fair), but I'd guess she would advocate for greater legal restrictions on access to the abortion procedure. I would not.
Beth and SFCF were denied their right, as a student group or student, to equal access to the display boards. The administration, which really means Heather McKenzie, who rules student government as her own fiefdom, claimed that posting SFCF's display without an opposing view would constitute bias and discrimination. They even put it on SFCF to come up with the opposing view.
Subsequently, Heather McKenzie and the VP of Student Services ambushed the group at their planning meeting to threaten that there would be adverse action if SFCF continued with some form of their display. They handed out Anti-Bias policy pamphlets, focusing on a "Stop the Hate" theme.
With no other real recourse, Beth filed a lawsuit (*.pdf) against the school's trustees, president, vice-president of student services, and Heather McKenzie for violating her and other students' free speech rights.
This is the part where, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" comes in. In looking at the exhibit, I think it conjures a lot of great questions about the relationships between poverty, race, and abortion. I might question the validity of some of the statistics and the bias of some data sources. Even if I didn't find some food for thought in the display, there is no reason in all of fairness for such a display to be denied, especially in an academic environment.
To Beth Sheeran, I say, Go Girl! Except that I think the lawyers from Alliance Defense Fund and the lawyers for ACLU might get in each others' way, I'd advocate for the ACLU's involvement on her behalf. Maybe they'd be willing to file an amicus brief. Hmmmm....
I don't think the administration of the school intended the Anti-Bias policy to be used in this manner. I think Heather McKenzie felt threatened when Beth and the SFCF didn't back down and abused the policy, using it to bash the rights of the students and attempting to intimidate them.
Unfortunately, the obvious and most basic (and correct) response to McKenzie's threats is to point out the controversial exhibits and speakers sponsored by student groups and the student government. This means pointing to sex-positive, LGBT-friendly, and generally progressive events and displays which have not been required by McKenzie to get an opposing viewpoint. What McKenzie doesn't seem to understand is that you can't contain speech based on content. Student events and displays are going to be controversial to draw an audience. It's called free speech--and students have an especially strong right to it, especially when we disagree with the content.
- Current Location:Spokane Falls Community College Library
- Current Mood: restless
- Current Music:Air America Radio
Why should you care? Because we are everywhere. And we don’t mind if you know it. As a matter of fact, we are often unrecognized on the front lines and the trenches. Sadly, sometimes we are in the closet, daring not to move outside the boxes of gay and straight. Sometimes, we get put in those boxes in spite of modest efforts to be ‘out.’ And sometimes we are screaming at the tops of our lungs and are still misinterpreted.
Robin Ochs, for instance, became the first woman in Massachusetts to marry her same sex partner (okay, her spouse shares the distinction). She is the founder of the Bisexuality Resource Center in Boston. She was identified as a lesbian in the media in spite of repeatedly drawing reporters’ attention to her bisexuality. By definition, the marriage couldn’t be gay or lesbian. Only one of the spouses was a lesbian.
Sometimes, we are placed in those boxes through omission or error. We are easy to overlook as our agendas are similar to yours. But, sometimes, we are squeezed into those boxes for better marketing (‘gay’ marriage plays better to the Joe and Jane America than ‘same-sex’ marriage).
“Homosexual” people get cool names like ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’ that leave thoughts of sex on the cutting room floor. Oh, sure, we’ve tried on omnisexual (really? omni? everything?), pansexual, ambisexual and bi-affectional, but the first three still point primarily to sex (and apparently a good variety of it) and the last makes us sound like we can be really good friends. The ‘bi’ in bisexual (Hey Microsoft Spellchecker—there is no hyphen in the term “bisexual”) still points back to those two boxes, gay and straight, male and female. Unfortunately, we aren’t so uncomplicated. Even ‘queer’, while seemingly ideal, is overly broad.
So, we are stuck with ‘bisexual.’ Fine. So what do bisexual people do? Well, I wondered that too. So I found some. We got together at Coffee Social (new, organic, eco-friendly, queer/poly-friendly). We drank some great Doma coffee and played dominoes. Apparently bisexual people are easy to please after all.
What I really found was that we were an eclectic group with varied ages and interests. And it wasn’t the coffee or the dominoes. It was a vague sense of togetherness. While we didn’t talk much about bisexuality, it was amazing and wonderful to be able to look around the group and realize that everyone in the group was like me. One participant wrote to me to say he finally felt comfortable in a public group. While it is great to be one letter in the alphabet soup of our movement for equality and dignity, it is a little breathtaking to be a ‘B’ in a veritable sea of ‘B’s.
If you would like to join us, meet at Coffee Social, 113 W Indiana Ave, on Wednesday May 13 and May 27 from 6-8pm. Dress in a smile and loudly ask where the bisexual people are.
“A normal person is just someone you don’t know real well yet.”
--Robin Ochs, Bisexual Activist and Author www.robinochs.com
- Current Mood: hyper
Before the concert, the wife and I shared a leg of lamb, a goat cheese mashed potato dish, and a mushroom sauce that were delicious, thanks to the skilled chef at Vin Rouge. We attended the Watershed pre-event party hosted by The Inland NW LGBT Center, Inland Northwest Business Association, Odyssey Youth Center, and OutSpokane. It was a lovely gathering with many familiar faces and some that were new to me. A lovely gentleman named Steve, who previously found and returned my indispensable thumbdrive, and Bridget Potter, Diva of OutSpokane and other ventures, greeted us to check in. Representatives from the four organizations, Cat Carrel, Marvo Reguinden, Sandy Williams, and Christopher Lawrence, respectively, made impassioned pitches for shared donations. It was a very pleasant event. They auctioned a signed Watershed CD for $500 and announced they'd received another $500 from the Pride Foundation.
Once we were seated for the concert, we found ourselves next to another male/female couple. At a point in the conversation, the woman in the couple commented that she thought we and they were the only heterosexual couples at the pre-event party. I was stunned and stupified. It reminded me how invisible an important part of me is in my own community. I know that. technically, heterosexual is an accurate term to describe our relationship as we embody different sexes. But I'm pretty sure her comment was meant to communicate that the people in the relationships are heterosexual. Hmmmm....
I saw a special on k.d. lang once in which she told that she had decided to not reveal her sexual orientation in order to support her stage/character presence. Her act as an artist is to entice everyone in the audience regarless of gender. A revelation of her personal life, could cause some of her audience to become disinterested or put off. She engages each of us of every gender and sexual orientation.
I saw a shirt today online displaying "100% Bisexual." This dispels several myths:
Bisexual people don't exist.
Bisexual people are part gay and part straight.
Bisexual people divide their attention between men and women in a measurable fashion.
Bisexual people are confused and don't understand their true sexual orienation.
We are not partially or wholly gay or straight. Bisexuality is a unique and valid sexual orientation.
Bisexuality is complex and not easily described by using ratios and percentages of attraction toward various genders.
We are certain about our sexuality, our social lives, and our attractions. No need for confusion on our part.
I hate to wear labels, but I may wear this shirt, especially to lgbtqa events, in the future. It may alleviate some confusion on the part of onlookers and save me some frustration. It is, after all, a better brand than Wal*mart.
- Current Location:The Center of My Universe
- Current Mood: frustrated
This got me thinking. In addition to water rights, we apparently own rights to "views." My grandparents couldn't build a small porch at their beach house 20 years ago because the neighbors to the South felt it would block a small portion of their view of the sand dunes and wetlands. But in Spokane, we have an anomaly called "Mary's House" that is in the center of the Providence Sacred Heart Medical Center campus. It is owned by a family that opted not to sell their property to Providence oh, so many years ago. It is a large house, but is dwarfed by the main hospital, the Women's Center and the Doctor's building. They apparently weren't able to preserve a right to their view of the city and surrounding mountainous area. Their view is the medical menagerie in all directions. This right to a view is apparently subjective and dependent on local building codes and neighborly whim.
But what if the owners of "Mary's House" had solar panels on its roof way back before the hospital engulfed it? Could the family have blocked Providence from its ambitions based on a right to solar rays. Obviously, if Providence effectively shut off the sun on "Mary's House" for a good portion of the day, the homeowners would suffer a financial loss because of the lost energy capture. Maybe a suitable remedy would be to force Providence to place the homeowners solar panels atop the medical center roofs.
If a neighbor's tree grows to shadow my solar panels, can I have it topped. If a neighbors new bedroom addition catches the rays "meant" for me, will he have to pay me every month to offset my loss? If my neighbor's addition makes me want to elevate my solar panels, is that enough to earn an exception to building codes? And what if my local power company figures out how to charge me for my solar panel use instead of buying the energy from me. It's not far fetched considering they can charge me $5.00 per month for a gas line I don't have, just in case I opt for natural gas someday.
When corporate satellites someday collect and transmit energy to the Earth in satellites so massive in number or size that they blot out the sun, will we have any recourse? When a thief steals jewelry from my home, I might have cause to shoot the intruder. But what can I do when someone steals my sunshine away?
- Current Mood: thoughtful
Senator Mark Schoesler
Mr. Joe Reilly
Dear Senator Schoesler,
SB 5688 is a bill to compromise with those who believe that marriage should be reserved for different-sex couples. The bill offers marital-equivalent benefits to those committed couple who are denied the right to marry by our state DOMA law in a complex and confusing way, while denying them a simple legal marriage license endowed with hundreds of years of common law rights and responsibilities. You voted against this bill even though it threatens no marriages. In case you aren't aware, those affected live right here in the 9th LD. On the plus side, when 50-60% of these couples break up, the lawyers will make a lot more money dissecting the domestic partner laws than if it were a marriage dissolution. That'll stimulate the economy.
If you think there is a culture war, you are woefully misinformed. There are simply people trying to live their lives who refuse to accept 2nd-class citizenship anymore. I hope you will change your mind and offer a public endorsement of this bill.
- Current Mood:productive
Last night I dreamed I was attending a college English class. At the end of class a man entered the room and told us that anyone who was married didn't need to pay attention and announced that all unmarried students were invited to the auditorium where the current President, George W. Bush would be speaking. Somehow I figured out that the President would be encouraging students to consider getting married. I don't think I figured out how this was part of a dastardly right-wing scheme, I just assumed it was.
So I ran around to my fellow single and married coeds basically begging them to help me protest this government intrusion into our private lives. I tried to convince them that the government, and especially the President, had no business trying to convince people they should get married.
Nobody listened. Now I think about the government-funded "Marriage is Healthy" campaign. These are the billboards and classes put out by abstinence-champion Teen-Aid (headquartered right here in lovely Spokane). I love the billboards. I think they are an excellent marriage equality campaign. We just need to swap out the pictures with same-sex couples.
In other news, my three-year old daughter just announced, "I cooked my wedgie."
- Current Location:in snowy Spokane, Washington
- Current Mood: bouncy
- 12:02 @moonfrye Yes. Don't send your kid to school sick--it'll get all the other sick kids sick. :) #
- 14:15 @paulapoundstone Do you charge extra for the 7-11 cup? #
- 14:52 @biznickman a twitterer (I know you probably weren't looking for a literal answer) #
- 14:55 RT: @SpokaneDave: Senior admin official says Obama's likely for Commerce is fmr WA Gov. Gary Locke--first Asian Governor. #
- 15:19 @roguecnidarian @benpop Orange Juice + sprite/7-up/sierra mist is also delicious --You left out the vodka! #
- 15:34 @womanistmusings Brand new offer. You can have Obama if you take the USA also. #
- 15:45 is off to visit with his old grandma (old=great /=ancient) #
- 15:46 Oops. She's my kids' old grandma. :) #
- 22:34 @moonfrye I sleep on the side closest to the door--paranoia about home invaders, I think. #
- 03:26 @paulapoundstone Our family goal is to make enough money that we can have a give to charity pile and a remove tags pile and skip laundry #
- 11:05 RT @tonypeterson u can buy a share of $GE 4 less than the cost of a light blb, $GM 4 less than a gal of gas, $NYT 4 less than a sun paper $$ #
- 19:12 is enjoying tasty wraps with red cabbage, avocado, chicken, mozzarella, and olive oil mayonnaise. Yum. #
- 22:02 is not so interested in the oscars. The fake suspense, like on WWtbaM, or Deal or No Deal is obnoxious. #
- 08:37 I'm looking for my friends...I'm looking for you. #
- 09:43 is watching Clifford by himself. Aren't the kids suppose to be watching too? #
- 10:12 is hopping in the shower. #
- 10:25 announces, "Now showing in the bathroom on the tiny screen, Monsters Inc." #
- 11:02 @grantium You've probably found this one tinyurl.com/c8q4mk #fem2 #
- 11:34 loves the term "normalizing" to mean making something into a norm, rather than to make things/people abide by norm. #
- 11:46 @chriscurrie What if confusion is the norm I seek? #
- 13:24 RT @DieLaughing Please don't retweet this. #
- 15:11 encourages Spokanites on the lower end of the economic spectrum to get heating help at snapwa.org #
- 15:35 is going to play at a park while the weather is nice. #
- 17:51 Oh, my achy hips... #
- 07:05 just completed about 12 hours of sleep. yum. #
- 14:10 feels funky today--anxious, depressed. #
- 14:59 @moniguzman Don't mean to be crass, but why is PI doing social media training if they are shutting down? #
- 16:43 is cooking soup while the girls are eating other soup. Had meds-feel lil better. #
- 18:31 @womanistmusings try chaning the words to "Goodnight moon to see if 3yo notices. :) #
- 19:49 @blushresponse Mike doesn't twit, does he? #
- 00:34 @paulapoundstone Your son could be exec director of the ADHD Center for....Did you hear Ken Griffey Jr. is coming to Seattle? Hmm, coookies. #
- 00:44 RT @wasaam Did you know Sexual Assault Awareness Month was first observed nationally in 2001? Yeah. It's true. #
- 01:23 "Cursebird Report: @jreilly4261 swears like a Mute. Ranked: Bottom. - cursebird.com/jreilly4261" Ranked me right. :) #
- 09:16 @paulapoundstone Do you think I can get my psychotherapist to work with me on range of motion? #
- 10:28 is getting little things done. #
- 11:31 wonders about the infusion of conscience in the human species. #
- 11:34 is tired of infomercials and wants a converter box. #
- 22:03 @paulapoundstone Be careful! If you get all the dirt out of Chicago, we might not recognize the politics! #
- 22:10 is trying out ping.fm to see if it makes a big mess. #
- 23:28 is posting via ping.fm via Yahoo! Messenger #
- 23:56 @jeremydeutsch Welcome to Spokane, the Seattle of the Inland Northwest. #
- 09:52 Trying to kill a killer headache. Maybe if the voices in my head stopped yelling... #
"How does my same-sex marriage hurt your marriage?"
Glenn Stanton, Focus on the Family's Director of Social Research and Cultural Affairs (I love that job title!) gave it a whirl and what he came up with is that while he doesn't have a problem with individual same-sex couples marrying, he worries that blanketly allowing same-sex marriage will cause his children to think they aren't a necessary component of marriage. If his daughters see gay and bisexual men married to each other, they won't see the importance of a woman in a marriage and if his sons see lesbian and bisexual women married to each other, they won't feel they are needed in a marriage.
In reality, what he fears is that if his children see men married and women married, they might think being gay or bisexual is alright. If his children see that being gay or bisexual is okay, they may want wait twenty years in fear and self-loathing to come out. They might come out as kids or teenagers and embarrass him into leaving his job as a hatemonger.
And don't get me started about gender. He claims same-sex marriage will dilute the importance of gender in his children's eyes. Oh, the horror. They might not learn that female is only a function of and corollary to male. They might figure out that in the creation story, Adam and Eve were equally duped and equally punished by their God. They might realize that when man wrote "man" in the bible, God meant him to write "people." They might note that it was people their father who ensured that the Equal Rights Amendment to the United States Constitution was doomed. And if gender is so important, why do they claim otherwise when it comes to the rights and dignity of transgender people?
- Current Mood: annoyed
- 12:20 @anibunny Amaretto Sours are the best! I keep thinking I like whiskey sours too, but it never quite tastes right. #
- 15:03 @drnicomartini No official org tweeting, but any Amber Alert tweeted should include a link to source. Else assume false. #
- 21:20 RT @BadEvan: Lesbian couple gets issued a marriage license at Freedom to Marry Event in Tucson, AZ! No Joke! tinyurl.com/bevjbm #
- 22:09 @clairecmc Heard anything about Paul Krugman for Secretary of Commerce? #
- 22:32 @maddow Is Paul #Krugman up to the task of SecComm? #
- 15:46 @WalkingwithHIM **Yay!** Georgia authorities cancelled a Levi's Call alert Wed pm finding a missing 1yo and his mother safe. #AmberAlert #
- 15:55 3yo boy Dominick Arceneaux missing from Chidester, Arkansas Video Update: qik.com/video/1019814 #AmberAlert #
- 16:08 @jbppvfc @jaymes @sarapereira @raelenet @mrsmommy2007 @CrimsonRaven @NealWiser Amber Alert re: 7yo is hoax see: tinyurl.com/atceb8 #
- 07:54 What can you tell us about your days with the Unabomber? #
- 08:14 @BodyByChocolate Thanks for the tip re:TweetDeck. I love it. :bit.ly/ILZwj #
- 09:56 RT @leapingwoman: @nprpolitics: NAACP Marks 100 Years tinyurl.com/dftggr (happy birthday NAACP!) #
- 10:10 Who says politicians don't have a sense of humor: "Crisis.Urgent.My son's iphone quit working.World coming to end." bit.ly/c1axc #
- 10:42 @BodyByChocolate re: ping.fm OMG! I have to go change my pants now. How did I not know about this before. I'm in heaven. #
- 11:18 is loving that Andy Kaufman is alive and well twurl.nl/qg75qz #
- 11:43 RT @bilericoproject: New on TBP: A Horrible Anniversary: Lawrence King Killed One Year Ago tinyurl.com/acucwk #
- 12:20 @anibunny Amaretto Sours are the best! I keep thinking I like whiskey sours too, but it never quite tastes right. #
- 15:03 @drnicomartini No official org tweeting, but any Amber Alert tweeted should include a link to source. Else assume false. #
(Has anyone else ever taken up a collection on the Letterman show?)
and then Joaquin:
- Current Mood: quixotic
- 13:17 RT @Feministe Justice for Jason: The Justice for Jason website provides details on ... Jason Vassell tinyurl.com/bsdyfg #
- 16:43 @avflox You guessed it. Our focus on Mexicans is to overwhelming that they divide "aliens" into M and OTM. #
- 16:44 just received his copy of Eyman's new misleading anti-gov't initiative. I thought he was for local control. But now he's going after cities. #
- 00:28 Because people in Illinois don't watch COPS #chase #
- 00:33 #chase so is the chase over and media.myfoxla.com/live/2/ is live while media.myfoxla.com/live/ is replay? #
- 00:42 #chase Get that man some coffee. I hope he's not the pilot. His yawns sound dangerous. #
- 00:49 #chase she sounds very detached -- really wants the helo in the righ spot in case they shoot the driver. #
- 00:58 "Anytime you can get a slightly closer shot without showing anything, that's good." #chase #
- 01:02 #chase Medics on the scene--to call time of death? #
- 01:05 @MustBeBenHughes #chase media.myfoxla.com/live/2/ is live media.myfoxla.com/live/ is replay #
- 01:06 #chase There is the stretcher coming #
- 01:07 #chase "They are not working on him." #
- 01:10 #Chase I want my money back. That did nothing for my moral conscience. #
- 01:13 FOR SALE: 1 White Bentley; minor dents, partial stain on driver side. $50,000 OBO #chase #
- 01:17 @MustBeBenHughes The guy is in transport right now via paramedics who are in no hurry. He's dead. They are clearing the scene. #chase #
- 03:34 reports Gov Blegojevich claims that he would like the tapes of the #bentley #chase played--we will see that he is innocent as he prev said. #
- 04:02 tinyurl.com/d6za5x #
- 12:37 really likes his new haircut. (I almost typed heircut--that would be something else all together.) #
- 16:30 is recycling paint. I don't know if they recycle or dispose of it. huh... #
- 02:06 @kellidiane We photag every other life cycle event. Why not record the celebration of the transition to life everlasting? #
- 03:06 @SistersTalk Most reputable Universities that I know of in the US require two years of foreign language for admission. #
- 08:41 is wearing red and buying fair trade coffee from locally owned shops. #